By Sujatha Rajagopal

When your baby begins taking his first steps, he becomes a toddler. And so begins a brand new journey of discovery for the both of you. Toddlerhood to your child means more than finding his feet. It is the dawn of an exciting new era of learning that will set the stage for how he thinks, moves, speaks, and develops other facets of his unique character. Your role is to provide undivided time and attention, for these coming years will be some of the most important in both your lives.

Toddler milestones
While your little one may seem like an unbridled force of energy, his development is actually predictably structured, and in time, you will be able to observe these thrilling milestones and more:

From 13 to 15 months, your toddler:
• Stands without help.
• Bends over to pick up an object.
• Begins to remember and anticipate familiar situations.
• Uses at least two words skilfully, such as “hello” and “bye”.
• Expresses himself using both words and gestures.
• Enjoys gazing at his reflection.
• Plays peek-a-boo.
• Drinks from a cup.
• Walks jerkily.
• Climbs up stairs.

From 16 to 18 months, your toddler:
• Walks backwards.
• Runs and dances.
• Kicks a ball.
• Uses at least five words, and perhaps even strings them together into a phrase.
• Makes common consonant sounds like d, m and t.
• Turns the pages of a book and gazes as if reading.
• Scribbles.
• Shows frustration through temper tantrums.
• Responds to directions such as “stand up”.
• Sorts toys by colour, size and shape.

At 19 to 24 months, your toddler:
• May show signs of potty training readiness.
• Uses a spoon and a fork.
• Washes and dries hands and brushes teeth with some help.
• Names several body parts.
• Uses short sentences, with a vocabulary of about 50 words at age two.
• Names everyday objects like “cat” and “dog” when shown a picture.
• Begins to understand opposites like “long” and “short”.
• Draws a straight line.
• Learns to jump.
• Becomes aware of gender differences.

At 25 to 30 months, your toddler:
• Speaks clearly almost all the time.
• Begins showing preference for right or left hand.
• Walks smoothly with a heel-toe step.
• Balances on one foot for a few seconds.
• Can name a friend.

By age three, your child will be quite independent, walking on tiptoe, jumping without a care, enjoying simple jigsaw puzzles and very likely speaking his mind clearly. It is possible that your child could be leagues ahead in some areas and behind in others. If your child does not display these tendencies by the given timelines, or if he was born prematurely and lags a little behind, don’t let it worry you. He will catch up.

Motor development
The average toddler is a veritable Category Five hurricane filled with an overwhelming desire to touch, grab, pull and move about as quickly as he can. The transition from rolling to crawling to cruising and finally taking those first tentative steps is a wondrous achievement, and he is not going to wait to test his newfound freedom. You wouldn’t either if you were unable to walk for months and have just discovered that you finally can! As a parent, your biggest dilemma would be (after making sure that his surroundings are safe) striking a good balance between protecting him and letting him go. Chances are, you will have to hide your prized crystal and china and get used to some clutter and mess, but don’t let that stop you or your child. Your little Curious George needs your ready permission to let him explore.

There is a lot you can do to encourage his motor development.

• Push and pull toys. Invest in sturdy plastic toys or carts that encourage use of as many parts of his body as possible. A big-wheeled, low-gravity vehicle will encourage use of his legs while a tricycle can reinforce coordination.

• Throw and catch. A ball is an indispensable toy for any child. Invest in a few different sizes and watch your toddler progress from rolling to bouncing to throwing underhand and having the time of his life. If you are very worried about noise indoors, use a soft bean bag or sponge ball instead.

• Balance. Your once wobbly toddler is going to become a confident jumper and climber, but his courage may desert him when it comes to letting both feet leave the ground. Bring him to a rubber-floored playground with plenty of slides, steps and monkey bars to experiment on. Help him find his footing on a balancing log. Soon, you might have a little tight-rope walker on your hands.

• Swimming. Most children take to water like a fish. Water is a great medium to build both coordination and confidence, but don’t rush him. Your child may seem overjoyed to see a pool but could become hesitant once he is inside. Follow his cue until he gets comfortable. Ensure that he is safe at all times.

Language, reading and writing
By the time he turns one, your child will be mixing babbles with about five real words. In a matter of months, his incomprehensible noises will transform into simple words, and he may practice inflection (raising his tone when asking a question). This is usually followed by speaking in simple phrases, sentences and before long, incessant questions. With sufficient encouragement from you, your child will be able to read short phrases, perhaps even introduce himself and write his name by the time he is three!

Here is how you can help your child:

• Talking and gestures. You are your child’s most important cheerleader. So do not show frustration if you cannot initially understand him. Show him that what he has to say is important to you. Encourage the use of ‘sign language’ if necessary. By the time your child reaches 20 months, he may be adding 10 or more new words to his vocabulary every day, so it may be time to start watching your language! It is also important to speak to him grammatically and politely. Although he may not understand concepts like plurals, tenses or good manners till much later, using them correctly yourself will lay the foundation in his mind.

• Singing. From about his second birthday, your child will be able to sing simple tunes. If you haven’t already, this is a perfect time to introduce nursery rhymes and other music. Songs are also a perfect way to teach. For example, substituting the lyrics of a nursery rhyme with say, the days of the week, could help your child learn such things sooner.

• Reading. Reading to your child from a book from the time he is born (or perhaps even earlier) is one of the best things you can do for him. The more words your child hears from a young age, the more quickly he will acquire language. Avoid reading to him with the intention to push academics. Instead, make reading fun. Bring him to the library. It’s not just about the words, but also the interaction between parent and child. If you have only 10 minutes to spare before bedtime, use it for reading to your child and make it a ritual. Add sound effects or role play together whenever possible. And stifle your yawns if he asks you to read The Little Red Hen over and over again, as repetition is a healthy sign that his eager young mind is thirsty to learn.

• Writing. From the time your child begins to scribble (at about 16 months), it will be a good idea to get him some baby-friendly crayons and paper or colouring books. Invest in washable crayons or markers as he gets older. Don’t rush him into writing actual alphabets. Forcing him may affect his interest. Remember that it is normal for him to master writing simple alphabets like C and Z before trickier ones like B and R.

The importance of play
Children need to play. It is essential for their cognitive, physical, social and emotional development. Play fosters creativity. In one moment of play, your toddler will use his thinking skills, possibly all five senses, his ability to crawl, jump or run and even sort, match and count. He may make an important connection between cause and effect and acquire problem-solving skills.

His imagination will blossom and by 12 to 15 months of age, he may pretend that a hairbrush is a telephone or that a slinky is a vacuum cleaner. By age two, he may make full-fledged representations like making ‘houses’ out of cardboard boxes complete with a living room, study room, etc. By age three, he may begin role playing games like pretending to be a doctor, pilot or news reporter.

Children will most probably start playing together, harmoniously, only after they turn three. So while he may enjoy playing with you when he is younger, you can anticipate some fights if your two-year-old does not wish to share his toys with playgroup mates. Studies show that children need both solitary and group-play, so don’t let it bother you if he prefers to play alone. As long as he is having a good time, he is fine.

When to worry
As it has been repeated throughout this guide, no two kids are alike. You may be dreading the terrible two’s, but your toddler may have other ideas and remain angelic till he is three, taking you completely by surprise after that. Or your sweet 23-month-old may become a textbook case and turn into a tantrum-throwing monster right smack on his second birthday. Sometimes, what seems like a tantrum may actually be a call for help. Although your toddler is learning new things fast, he may not be able to tell you that he is hurting somewhere other than by bawling his lungs out.

Expect each difficult phase to be just that — a phase — as your little one is on a constantly evolving journey.

However, talk to your doctor if your child frequently demonstrates extreme anti-social behaviour or has other developmental problems. It is important to keep up-to-date with well-baby check-ups or toddler development assessments for these will tell you if there is any cause for worry. Putting these check-ups off may prevent a hidden condition from being medically diagnosed.