Sujatha Rajagopal
The bond between mother and child, some would say, is stronger than steel. This bond usually begins not after the child is born, but while he or she is still in your womb.
For many expectant moms, this prenatal bond begins as a stirring of warm emotions with your baby’s first kick. Others may feel a strong link even before their pregnancy is confirmed. It is also possible that you may not feel anything, even after baby is born, until one day it hits you from out of the blue. If you’ve been expecting for a few months now and haven’t begun to connect with your baby, you needn’t feel guilty. You may still be overwhelmed by the rush of emotions that pregnancy brings with it. Be assured that you will feel something, even if it’s not soon, and that when that feeling begins, there will be nothing else like it in the world.
Meanwhile, there is a lot you can do to promote this special relationship with your unborn child. If you’ve passed your 16th week of pregnancy, your baby’s ear is already functional and your womb is already a haven of sound for your rapidly developing child. Your beating heart, the swoosh and swirls of your placenta, and the gurgles of your tummy fill her world with comforting rhythm. So speaking or cooing softly to her is a great way to establish a link.
Here are some great (and extremely fun) ways to begin communicating with your unborn baby:
Belly talk
You may think this silly, but there is nothing to be embarrassed about if you feel like rubbing your bulge gently and talking softly to it. This practise is far from new; mums and even dads of every generation have enjoyed it.
Research shows that babies can recognize and respond to voices while in the womb, so begin having little conversations with your child as soon as you can. If you don’t know where to start, tell her about your day or ask her how she feels inside. If she moves, say something encouraging like “wow, I liked that”. Or simply say “good morning” or “good night”. Or you might want to read her a bedtime story. Let her feel your excitement and joy at having her in your life through your tone of voice. Give your baby the message that she is wanted and loved. Studies indicate that babies have the intuitive ability to sense this love when they are in the womb.
If doing this in public is sure to make you blush, start by speaking softly to your child while you’re in the bath or before you sleep, and first thing in the morning when you wake up. Soon you’ll both be “chatting” away, caring nothing about what strangers think.
Obviously your hubby will not be able to feel a bond with the baby until she is born. So help him start early by inviting him to speak to your belly too. Belly talk is a fantastic way for men to participate in this extremely female experience. If you have older children, let them speak to their new brother or sister too.
Touch your baby
How would you like to give your baby a gentle push and feel her push back? Yes, it’s possible! And it becomes easier as your pregnancy progresses.
Ask your hubby to feel your belly when baby kicks—the experience will definitely thrill him! Or ask him for a belly rub as it’s a perfect way for him to connect with the both of you.
Towards your last few months, you can gently prod about your bulge until you feel a shoulder or foot or perhaps your baby changing positions. You may even be able to witness a ripple as your baby moves around in your womb. You may even want to picture her in your mind as she moves about. Touching and thinking about her helps you relate to your baby as a real person although you cannot actually see her.
Music to her ears
Music has two key effects on your child. When you listen to music yourself or sing a happy tune to calm your nerves, you are creating a healthy and positive environment for baby to grow. Listening to music prenatally is also thought to create an excellent foundation for language and cognitive skills.
However, you may have to carefully think about your choice of music. While classical music is a safe and preferred bet, a constant diet of heavy metal may frighten your child because amniotic fluid tends to amplify sound. Experts say that babies prefer music that is in synchrony with the mother’s heart rate. So when your heart rate is regular and calm, chances are your baby’s will be too.
The power of science
Having an ultrasound is an extremely effective way to bond with baby. Nothing makes pregnancy feel more real than seeing your baby move inside your womb. Apart from confirming the fact that your baby exists, it helps you feel more responsible for your child’s well-being.
Recent advances in ultrasound technology now allow parents to see clearer pictures of their child. Unless you are a trained medical professional, traditional 2D black and white ultrasound images may be difficult to interpret. Newer 3D/4D ultrasounds however, mean that you can see moving pictures that actually mean something—and in colour! With such stunning detail, you may be able to pinpoint facial features, catch her sucking her thumb or capture an adorable yawn!
Take it easy
Bonding may sound like hard work but it needn’t be. The key to it all is to enjoy having this new member of your family in your life. Enjoy talking to her, thinking about her, imagining how she will look like and all the wonderful things you will do together when she is born. Enjoy being pregnant, feeling your belly and touching the spot where you think she’s nestled. All too soon, your pregnancy will be over and you may actually miss having her inside you. So make the most of it now.
Once your baby is born, bonding gets even easier. Babies love people who love being with them. Your response to her every little action will show her how much you want her in your life. Stop to smile back when she smiles. Look her straight in the eye when you speak to her. Read her a bedtime story with the both of you as main characters. There are just so many ways to strengthen the connection you share!
