By Sujatha Rajagopal

My two-year-old is so fussy with food. He insists he will only eat rice or chicken and something sweet. Why won’t he try anything new? He refuses to sit in one place to eat. I can’t take these mealtime fights anymore…

Does this sound like you? Possibly the most universal of motherly woes is getting a child to eat. Healthily. Without fuss. Every time we mums try to address this, we are plunged headlong into a battle of wills—not only with junior—but sometimes also with his/ her dad who thinks we’re making too big a deal out of it.

Actually, as long as there is no underlying medical condition for fussy eating, you don’t need to worry. Very often, picky eating resolves by itself, leaving you to wonder how wonderfully co-operative your toddler or preschooler can be after all.

What is picky eating and why does it happen?
Picky eating can occur and re-occur anytime during childhood (and in adolescence too!). Typically, a picky eater only eats a handful of food types well and demonstrates fluctuating mealtime behaviours. For instance, a child may like to eat broccoli for a few weeks then refuse to have another bite of it for the next two years! Or a child may eat well one day only to have poor appetite the next.

This behaviour is so common that scores of books have been written on the subject. However, what many parents still don’t understand is that picky eating is simply a child’s way of asserting his or her preferences. That’s one of the reasons why it peaks at toddlerhood—the period when a child’s sense of independence increases. Toddlers are also more interested in their newfound gross-motor abilities and may find the need to sit in one place and eat simply too tedious!

Experts think that picky eating may also be a self-protection instinct. After all, a young child’s digestive system is obviously still immature and can’t handle very large amounts of food. Plus, children are more sensitive to taste than adults. They may find certain foods too spicy or pungent for their liking.

There could also be certain common health reasons that aren’t immediately obvious, for example, teething, mouth ulcers that impede chewing or loss of appetite due to a sore-throat.

Should I worry?
Most children intuitively know when they’ve had enough. Picky eaters are normally alert, energetic youngsters (if they aren’t, it could be due to some other medical reason, such as an infection or indigestion). While each phase of fussy eating may lead to a little weight loss, they will on the whole be getting enough calories and nutrients to keep them growing normally. Moreover, toddlers and preschoolers need less food because they don’t grow as quickly as they did when they were infants.

“Battling” picky eating
Perhaps one of the biggest mistakes we make (but who can blame us?) is approaching the issue in full battle mode. How many times have we threatened, “If you don’t eat this now, I won’t let you watch TV” or “Eat up or forget about dessert”?

Kids are really sharp at picking out tense feelings. Our frustration only makes them fussier and ready to launch into a struggle for control.

The following 10 tips offer positive ways to approach and minimise pickiness:
1. Make the dinner table a happy zone: Keep your emotions positive and encouraging. Have a small basket of colourful toys nearby to distract the child while he/ she is being fed. Refresh the basket with new toys often. If it’s safe, consider feeding your child outdoors.
2. Be prepared for rejection: When you keep your expectations realistic, you won’t be tempted to use harsh words on your child. Children need time to adjust to and learn to like new foods. Be prepared to introduce the same food a few times before your child agrees to try it.
3. Time it well: Offer new foods/ previously rejected foods when the child is hungry, but not cranky. And offer only one new food at a time.
4. Don’t force or bribe your child: Using force can backfire, making a child more aversive to food. Bribing can lead to bad eating habits in later life.
5. Use food pairs: Team a favourite food like fried chicken with a non-favourite like carrots to encourage acceptance.
6. Pretty presentations work: Depending on age, use colourful arrangements or fun shapes (e.g. with cookie cutters) to make the food look more appetising. The extra work will be tiresome initially, but as your child eats better, you may not even notice how quickly you can get it done.
7. Give the food fun names: For example, your little one might like “strong boy cereal” better than just “cereal”.
8. Play healthy food games: Depending on age, you can plan a meal menu for the week, allowing your child to pick one favourite food for every meal while you pick the rest. Let your child help you with meal preparation or take your child grocery shopping. The more vegetables he/ she names correctly, the more healthy foods he/ she will get to choose for the next meal, etc.
9. Set a good example: When you eat on time, finish everything on your plate and eagerly try new foods, your child will be more likely to do it too.
10. Use wise snacking: You can minimise nutritional worries by splitting your child’s daily diet between two or three smaller meals and two healthy snacks a day. Explain to your child why you substitute low-fat fruit yogurt for ice cream, for instance. Also, encourage your child to drink more water and less sugary drinks.

Don’t expect your child to start eating normally immediately. Picky phases may continue for a while until your child is more aware of what he/ she likes and dislikes. Meanwhile, don’t be worried to use sneakiness (relax, all mums do it!) to address any nutritional deficiencies you are aware of. For example, you can steal in yogurt or applesauce (mixed into sauces or puddings) and eggs or tofu (crumbled and scrambled with chopped vegetables) into your cooking with no one being the wiser. And consult the paediatrician often to ensure that your fussy eater’s growth is on track.